The night my mother died, I went to the mountains with my husband and our two best friends. I needed the mountain, and the night, and the company of comrades to soothe me. We packed our bags and hiked through the darkness until we came to a grove of trees and soft grass. While the others set up camp, I slipped away into the night, having reached that moment where I needed to be alone.
I wandered through the trees until I couldn’t see the light of the camp anymore, and sat in quiet darkness to talk to my mother. Her death was not unexpected, although she had only been in her fifties. She had battled a number of severe health problems for years, including cancer. I hadn’t wanted to lose her… yet I was relieved her suffering was finished. I poured out my heart to her–my pain, my confusion, my love. I also asked her if she could help me with certain things from the other side. Among them, I asked her if she could help me find information about my Heavenly Mother, whom I had been seeking since I was a teenager.
In life, my mother was a scholar of the highest caliber. She was an intellectual, and research in her field of study was among her truest passions. Her publications were in the hundreds, maybe more. People across her field looked to her with respect. She was also a staunch feminist who raised me to discern and reject patriarchy in every form. She knew very little about Heavenly Mother–having grown up with the false doctrine of “sacred silence.” However, she was the one who taught me of Heavenly Mother’s existence and awakened the passion in me to know more about Her.
“Hey mom, now you’re on the other side and you’re learning the good stuff. Send some of that info my way!”
The nature of our relationship was such that it felt very natural for me to ask this. In life, my mom was always letting me in on secrets and telling me about all sorts of research–I couldn’t think of a better person to feed me Heavenly Mother secrets straight from the spirit world. Even in my sorrow, this thought gave me a little sense of glee.
My mother’s death, and my subsequent nighttime conversation with her, occurred three and a half months from today. And it’s funny… since that time, I have learned more about Mother in Heaven then I have in years of searching. Between personal revelation, research articles, websites, books, and church talks, I have been swimming in information. It feels like my mother, the master scholar and researcher, has compiled all the information I couldn’t find before and is sending it to me. Real information–not speculations and shadows, but absolute truth, backed by deep research and the words of the prophets, and confirmed by the Spirit.
It is a shockingly sharp contrast. Before, I felt I was wandering in the desert, only finding an occasional sip of water. Now, I am swimming in an oasis of flowing rivers and cascading waterfalls. I have never felt more powerful, more valued, as a woman and daughter in Her kingdom. She was hidden in plain sight all along. I just needed to learn how to peek through the veil. She has been whispering instructions all along the way–and now my departed mother is whispering them too. I hope I can show others, women and men, how to part the veil and see, like my Mothers showed me.
Mirage on the desert
I walked, searching
A glimpse here,
A glimpse on the horizon
I walked past exhaustion
Water, water, where is She?
I’ve found Her
I’ve found Her
I sit in Her oasis
I drink, and cry
Mama, mama, mama, mama
by Wendy DeVoe